Silent Sacrifices: The Impact of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” on Lesbian and Gay Military Families

The sacrifices of the nation's 65,000 lesbian, gay, and bisexual military personnel2 and the one million lesbian, gay, and, bisexual veterans, however, have only recently garnered significant attention.3 Media stories such as that of former Army Sergeant Bleu Copas, an Arabic linguist with the 82nd Airborne, illustrate the impact of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law on individual service members as well as the law's impact on the military's personnel needs.4 Yet the impact of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" on gay military families has garnered little public attention because few families headed by a same-sex couple, in which one partner is currently serving in the armed forces, are willing to risk a career-ending move to tell their story, let alone face the loss of familial privacy by making such a public statement.